


gayin' it up

by revengeavenue



Category: Bandom, Blondie (Band), Fleetwood Mac (Band), Joan Jett and the Blackhearts, Morrissey (Musician), Siouxsie and the Banshees (Band), The Cure (Band), The Runaways (Band), The Smiths
Genre: Banter, Group chat, Multi, no one asked for this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-15
Updated: 2018-02-05
Packaged: 2018-10-05 20:51:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 6,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10316738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/revengeavenue/pseuds/revengeavenue
Summary: Johnny has added Morrissey, Joan, Cherie, Siouxsie, Debbie, Chris, Robert, Lita, Andy, and Mike to the chat!Johnny has changed the chat display name to gayin' it up!Johnny: I don't care if you're not all gay just stay here to validate me





	1. morrissey outs johnny's daddy kink

**Author's Note:**

> probably a bad idea but i don't care lmao
> 
> disclaimer: i do not own any of these people, i just greatly enjoy their music - i was bored and snowed in when i came up with this idea.

_Johnny has added Morrissey, Joan, Cherie, Siouxsie, Debbie, Chris, Robert, Lita, Andy, and Mike to the chat!_

_Johnny has changed the chat display name to gayin' it up!_

**Johnny** : I don't care if you're not all gay just stay here to validate me

 **Morrissey** : Why did you make this?

 **Johnny** : I'm gay and lonely

 **Debbie** : you have Morrissey though??

 **Johnny** : he's not here right now :/

 **Robert** : rip marrissey

 **Morrissey** : Shut up Robert.

 **Morrissey** : Would you like me to stop by Johnny?

 **Johnny** : yes please :)

 **Joan** : get married already

 **Andy** : that's what i'm saying

 **Mike** : remember when we first caught them making out at band practice

 **Mike** : those were the days

 **Andy** : mike that was literally two weeks ago

 **Mike** : those were the days

 **Lita** : sounds familiar

 **Joan** : lita don't

 **Joan** : lita nO

 **Lita** : Lita yes

 **Lita** : Cherie was in that lingerie she used to wear on stage

 **Cherie** : LITA

 **Lita** : and she was on Joan

 **Lita** : they were making out

 **Lita** : it was kinda hot tho

_Joan has left gayin' it up!_

_Cherie has added Joan to gayin' it up!_

**Joan** : fuck you lita

 **Lita** : :)

 **Debbie** : wow Joan

 **Joan** : shit up debbie

 **Joan** : *shut

 **Debbie** : lmao

 **Robert** : what just happened

 **Chris** : I'm not sure but Debbie is on the floor

 **Siouxsie** : ;)

 **Debbie** : not now siouxsie

 **Cherie** : lesbehonest

 **Joan** : no one says that anymore cherie

 **Cherie** : i do

 **Lita** : Cherie shared a minion meme on facebook the other day

 **Lita** : just thought i'd let you guys know

 **Joan** : i know i saw it

 **Joan** : and pretended not to

 **Cherie** : it was relatable though

 **Chris** : Cherie has an awful taste in memes

_Cherie has left gayin' it up!_

_Joan has added Cherie to gayin' it up!_

**Cherie** : don't insult my taste in memes Chris

 **Andy** : i love how Johnny made this chat and then fucked off with Morrissey

 **Mike** : they're in love tho

 **Andy** : yeah, so in love that they feel the need to play tonsil tennis for the rest of the band to see

 **Andy** : *sips tea* but that's none of my business

 **Cherie** : and i have bad taste in memes

 **Joan** : cherie the tea meme is a grade a meme

 **Cherie** : is it now

 **Lita** : I can feel the sexual tension through the screen

 **Cherie** : Lita don't

 **Joan** : lita you're just jealous

 **Lita** : you know you're right

 **Lita** : I want a girlfriend

 **Lita** : ...Debbie's hot

 **Siouxsie** : fuck off Lita

 **Debbie** : tell em daddy

 **Siouxsie** : damn

 **Robert** : this is incredibly entertaining

 **Morrissey** : Fuck off Robert.

 **Chris** : Moz and Robert should collab

 **Andy** : hey he's back

 **Andy** : so how's Johnny

 **Johnny** : I'm literally right here

 **Johnny** : I made this chat

 **Morrissey** : Debbie isn't the only one calling someone daddy.

 **Morrissey** : Just putting that out there.

 **Johnny** : whAT THE FUCK MORRISSEY

 **Johnny** : DON'T OUT MY DADDY KINK

 **Morrissey** : You're the one who called me it!

 **Johnny** : I hate myself for making this

 **Debbie** : we love you Johnny


	2. #ParallelLines&Chill

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's more lmao

**Debbie** : @ whoever is driving by my house blasting one way or another: go home

 **Joan** : sorry it's my bop

 **Joan** : also it's ironic

 **Joan** : get it

 **Joan** : because of the lyric

 **Joan** : i will drive past ur house debbie

 **Cherie** : stop spamming

 **Joan** : and when the lights are all down

 **Joan** : i'll see who's aroooooound

 **Debbie** : are you high

 **Joan** : probably

 **Cherie** : she won't stop sending me lyrics

 **Cherie** : i think they're all blondie lyrics

 **Debbie** : wow I don't even have to promo our records

 **Debbie** : looks like Joan's got it covered

 **Joan** : parallel lines is the best album ever written and recorded

 **Chris** : Joan is the #1 blondie fan confirmed

 **Johnny** : hey guys

 **Johnny** : I'm with Joan though parallel lines 4ever

 **Robert** : 4ever lmao

 **Robert** : cmon Moobissey

 **Robert** : tell me to shut up

 **Johnny** : MOOBISSEY HAHAHA OH MY GOD

 **Johnny** : I'M GONNA CRY

 **Siouxsie** : what the duck is going on

 **Siouxsie** : *fuck

 **Siouxsie** : goddamnit

 **Debbie** : WHERE IS HE

 **Joan** : let's keep spamming and maybe he'll show up

 **Johnny** : he's probably reading these right now

 **Morrissey** : You're all wankers.

 **Morrissey** : Except for Johnny.

 **Johnny** : found him

 **Debbie** : hey Moob I thought we were pals

 **Morrissey** : I'm leaving this chat.

 **Joan** : noooo don't go

 **Robert** : sorry mate

 **Morrissey** : We're not mates Robert.

 **Robert** : okay sorry my guy

 **Robert** : don't get so butt hurt jesus christ

 **Johnny** : I am butt hurt

 **Morrissey** : ;)

 **Siouxsie** : aw what the fuck guys

 **Siouxsie** : gross

 **Robert** : did Morrissey just use an emoticon

 **Robert** : no fucking way

 **Debbie** : I think we're rubbing off on him

 **Debbie** : nobody make a sexual reference please

 **Chris** : ;)

 **Joan** : ;)

 **Cherie** : ;)

 **Siouxsie** : can I delete this chat

 **Debbie** : fuck you guys

 **Debbie** : hey Siouxsie

 **Debbie** : wanna come over

 **Siouxsie** : shit yeah bye guys

 **Johnny** : #Sebbie4ever

 **Cherie** : johnny who taught you that

 **Cherie** : because it's cringe

 **Johnny** : #Choan4ever

 **Cherie** : i think i just threw up in my mouth a little

 **Morrissey** : Johnny's had a bit to drink.

 **Joan** : we can tell

 **Cherie** : shut up joan you're halfway to shitfaced

 **Joan** : oh i think i'm already there bby

 **Lita** : wow i missed a lot

 **Johnny** : you did

 **Lita** : #Choanisreal

 **Lita** : also i love parallel lines

 **Chris** : we should all have a parallel lines listening party

 **Chris** : I would take that up with Debbie but she's with Siouxsie now and I don't wanna third wheel lmao

 **Lita** : haha i third wheel joan and cherie all the time

 **Joan** : fuck off lita

 **Cherie** : yeah we know

 **Robert** : anybody wanna hang

 **Robert** : we can listen to some tunes and cry a lil

 **Johnny** : oh fuck yeah i'm there

 **Johnny** : everybody needs a good cry every once in a while

 **Morrissey** : Ugh.

 **Johnny** : what

 **Johnny** : he's my friend Morrissey I don't care if you don't like him

 **Morrissey** : I'm coming along.

 **Robert** : oooo is somebody jealous

 **Morrissey** : Robert please don't.

 **Robert** : you totally are and it's okay

 **Robert** : Johnny fucking loves you like you don't even need to worry

 **Morrissey** : I know he does.

 **Morrissey** : I can tolerate you for a little while I suppose.

 **Johnny** : yay friendship

 **Robert** : don't speak too soon johnny

 **Robert** : he just might beat me up someday

 **Morrissey** : I won't, as long as you put Parallel Lines on.

 **Johnny** : #ParallelLines&Chill

 **Robert** : just get over here


	3. joan's sex pistols shirt causes controversy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the long wait! i got busy, but here's another chapter.

**Johnny** : guys

 **Johnny** : did I ever tell you how much I love Morrissey

 **Johnny** : and Spellbound by Siouxsie and the Banshees

 **Andy** : every day Johnny

 **Debbie** : what even goes on in your band

 **Mike** : we listen to Siouxsie and the Banshees on full blast and watch Johnny and Morrissey make out

 **Siouxsie** : what

 **Mike** : that was a joke

 **Joan** : hi guys

 **Debbie** : hey Joan

 **Debbie** : did you know that you left your sex pistols shirt at my house

 **Debbie** : i'm wearing it

 **Joan** : debbie what the fuck

 **Debbie** : I just wanted to try it on

 **Debbie** : it looked really soft

 **Siouxsie** : ...

 **Johnny** : lmao someone's jealous

 **Siouxsie** : eat shit Johnny

 **Morrissey** : Siouxsie, I will personally come to your house and fuck shit up.

 **Cherie** : woah hey why is everybody fighting

 **Joan** : i left my sex pistols shirt at debbie's place

 **Joan** : it's my fault oops

 **Debbie** : I'll take it off haha

 **Debbie** : but I wish Siouxsie was the one taking it off ;) ;) ;)

 **Morrissey** : Was 3 winky faces really necessary?

 **Andy** : stop attacking everyone Moob

 **Joan** : hAHA

 **Cherie** : what is going on

 **Mike** : I honestly have no idea

 **Lita** : okay i'm crying

 **Morrissey** : I'm leaving.

_Morrissey has left gayin' it up!_

**Johnny** : he can be such a goddamn wanker I swear

 **Johnny** : don't tell him I said that

_Johnny has added Morrissey to gayin' it up!_

**Robert** : wow what did I miss

 **Debbie** : Joan literally showed up, took her shirt back, then lit a cigarette in my living room and walked out the door

 **Debbie** : what the fuck Joan

 **Joan** : sorry deb

 **Joan** : cherie wanted to have a night in

 **Lita** : oooh somebody's got a hot date

 **Lita** : ;)

 **Robert** : does she have a stitch to wear though?

 **Johnny** : lmao

 **Morrissey** : See Johnny, this is why I left last time.

 **Johnny** : babe you don't gotta be so uptight

 **Johnny** : he's making a joke

 **Johnny** : it's really alright

 **Andy** : what Johnny said

 **Mike** : yes

 **Morrissey** : Stop attacking me!

 **Lita** : hey Johnny

 **Lita** : fax him some nudes and maybe he'll stop being an ass

 **Johnny** : nO

 **Andy** : that's not Johnny's thing

 **Andy** : he prefers it in the flesh

 **Andy** : if you know what I mean

 **Debbie** : buy in the flesh by blondie #spon

 **Chris** : this chat name should be blondie spon tbh

 **Joan** : ooooh warm and soft

 **Joan** : in thE FLESH

 **Joan** : oooOOOOHHHHHHHH

 **Siouxsie** : in the flesh is about me oops

 **Lita** : it's a bop

 **Johnny** : what the fuck guys

 **Johnny** : why did I make this chat anyway

 **Debbie** : because you love us

 **Morrissey** : He loves me the most though.

 **Johnny** : are you done being a wanker now?

 **Morrissey** : Possibly.

 **Lita** : self awareness is a wonderful thing

 **Andy** : marrissey is my otp

 **Lita** : why do I feel like you have a shrine of them somewhere in your room

 **Mike** : he does actually

 **Mike** : #exposed

 **Andy** : you're a dick Mike

 **Debbie** : that's alright

 **Debbie** : Siouxsie's kept every magazine that ever mentions my name

 **Joan** : that's cute though

 **Debbie** : hey aren't you supposed to be on your Hot Date with Cherie??

 **Joan** : yeah

 **Joan** : our "hot date" was supposed to be a movie at home but she's currently asleep on my shoulder

 **Debbie** : aWWWW CUTE

 **Siouxsie** : Debbie does cute things like that and I die inside every time

 **Debbie** : <3

 **Robert** : I feel like I'm third wheeling

 **Robert** : there's 3 couples in this chat

 **Lita** : wanna make 4?? ;) ;) ;)

 **Lita** : i'm kidding by the way

 **Andy** : I'd date Mike tbh

 **Mike** : don't get any ideas Andy

 **Joan** : trouble in paradise?

 **Debbie** : lmao

 **Joan** : but wait

 **Joan** : if they got together, they could change their band name to The Gays

 **Morrissey** : That is absolutely never happening.


	4. Lonely Lita (gotdamn)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi i'm back again with more of this
> 
> pls enjoy

**Joan** : gUYS

 **Joan** : DEBBIE SENT SIOUXSIE NUDES WHILE WE WERE HANGING OUT AND I ACCIDENTALLY SAW THEM

 **Joan** : SIOUXSIE STOP LEAVING YOUR PHONE UNATTENDED

 **Cherie** : gotdamn

 **Cherie** : were they hot tho

 **Joan** : are you gonna break up with me if I say yes

 **Cherie** : no because Debbie is hot

 **Cherie** : we love you Debbie

 **Joan** : okay well they were really hot

 **Lita** : I wish I had someone to send me nudes

 **Morrissey** : Debbie is very beautiful, both inside and out.

 **Morrissey** : You'll find someone, Lita.

 **Lita** : hey thanks

 **Johnny** : why do these conversations always end up sexual

 **Johnny** : no offense

 **Cherie** : well

 **Cherie** : we are called "gayin' it up"

 **Cherie** : courtesy of you Johnny

 **Johnny** : true true

 **Siouxsie** : oH GOD

 **Siouxsie** : JOAN WHAT THE FUCK

 **Debbie** : if it were anyone else I'd be pissed

 **Debbie** : but it's Joan so I expect this kind of shit lmao

 **Debbie** : you guys are great

 **Siouxsie** : I'm low key embarrassed

 **Joan** : don't be it's cool

 **Siouxsie** : I just looked at them again and woW I suddenly feel okay

 **Debbie** : ;)

 **Debbie** : hey Siouxsie

 **Debbie** : let's go drive around and listen to the rolling stones

 **Siouxsie** : friCK I AM DOWN

 **Debbie** : <3

 **Lita** : guys what the fuck

 **Lita** : you're too adorable

 **Joan** : Lonely Lita™

 **Robert** : hey guys

 **Lita** : thanks for joining us Robert

 **Joan** : you missed a lot

 **Robert** : I can see that

 **Robert** : is this the Debbie Harry fan club now

 **Cherie** : yes

 **Johnny** : should I change the chat name lmao

 **Joan** : nooo gayin' it up is too iconic

 **Cherie** : Johnny if you change the chat name I will come and find you

 **Cherie** : and I'll make sure Morrissey never fucks you again

 **Johnny** : I am mildly disturbed

 **Johnny** : actually no

 **Johnny** : I am very disturbed

 **Joan** : Cherie no threatening Johnny

 **Joan** : he is a good egg

 **Cherie** : ugh fine

 **Lita** : dammit I wanted to see a smackdown

 **Morrissey** : Violence is never the answer.

 **Robert** : Moz you just had to chime in with your pacifist comments

 **Johnny** : pacifist comments #justmorrisseythings

 **Morrissey** : Johnny, you're a pain in the ass, but I love you anyway.

 **Lita** : why are there sO MANY CUTE COUPLES IN THIS CHAT

 **Lita** : WHERE IS MY PERSON

 **Johnny** : not in this chat lmao

 **Cherie** : Johnny is savage

 **Lita** : I want a girlfriend so bad

 **Joan** : i'll take you to a gay bar this weekend Lita

 **Lita** : wait for real??

 **Lita** : because I am down

 **Lita** : can we bring Siouxsie and Debbie too?? I need to be surrounded by my pals for emotional support and what not

 **Debbie** : we'll be there

 **Siouxsie** : yes but Debbie isn't getting shitfaced because none of us need that in our lives right now

 **Debbie** : gotdamn

 **Cherie** : hey blondie don't steal my word

 **Robert** : i think that triggered her

 **Debbie** : I think Cherie needs a "Blondie is a group" button for her jean jacket

 **Johnny** : ouch

 **Johnny** : I felt that from here

 **Cherie** : Debbie knows I'm joking lmao

 **Cherie** : love you Debbie

 **Debbie** : <3

 **Joan** : I love this chat so much

 **Morrissey** : Me too.

 **Joan** : Morrissey omg you need to stop typing like that

 **Morrissey** : Why?

 **Joan** : you're making me nervous with your correct capitalization and punctuation

 **Morrissey** : Okay...

 **Morrissey** : is this better??

 **Joan** : yes thank you

 **Cherie** : hey he's one of us now

 **Lita** : I'm not sure that's a good thing

 **Morrissey** : go find your girlfriend Lonely Lita

 **Joan** : hahaha oh shit

 **Joan** : look what I started

 **Lita** : you motherfucker

 **Joan** : :)


	5. andy and mike get triggered

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey, i'm still here!! i just got super focused on life happenings and forgot to update. updates will probably still be sporadic, but i hope you enjoy!!

**Lita** : okay not to be extra or anything

 **Lita** : but reel around the fountain is the greatest song ever to be released

 **Johnny** : hey thanks Lita

 **Morrissey** : i adore that song

 **Morrissey** : probably one of my favorite Smiths tracks

 **Morrissey** : guess you could say it's some Good Shit

 **Johnny** : Moz the song is literally about gaying it up with another lad

 **Joan** : ayyyy

 **Joan** : Gayin It Up

 **Joan** : i see you're staying on brand johnny

 **Siouxsie** : can I leave this chat now

 **Debbie** : nO

 **Siouxsie:** okay mum

 **Cherie** : well aren't y'all just adorable

 **Joan** : i think they're more kinky than adorable at this point

 **Siouxsie** : you're not wrong

 **Debbie** : you're not supposed to aDMIT TO IT

 **Siouxsie** : oops

 **Morrissey** : nothing wrong with a lil kink

 **Joan** : i can't believe you just said that

 **Johnny** : I can

 **Johnny** : he's been trying to be hip lately and it's killing me

 **Morrissey** : i'm triggered

 **Morrissey** : shook

 **Morrissey** : shaken

 **Morrissey** : and stirred

 **Cherie** : what is going on

 **Lita** : no idea

 **Lita** : i wish i had a cute girl to cuddle with right now

 **Joan** : poor lita

 **Joan** : we need some new people in this chat

 **Debbie** : tru

_Joan has added Stevie and Christine to gayin' it up!_

**Johnny** : hey friends, welcome to gayin it up

 **Stevie** : what is this

 **Christine** : i'm lost

 **Christine** : Joan why

 **Robert** : oh hey guys

 **Siouxsie** : oh now you decide to say something

 **Chris** : i'm here too

 **Debbie** : only after you played our entire discography

 **Joan** : REKT

 **Cherie** : way to make them feel welcome

 **Cherie** : hello new friends

 **Stevie** : hey Cherie :)

 **Johnny** : for the record, i created this mess

 **Morrissey** : and i let him

 **Johnny** : shut up

 **Johnny** : daddy

 **Morrissey** : oh nO

 **Joan** : johnny...

 **Joan** : that was very NSFW of you

 **Debbie** : why is this chat just kinks and roasts now

 **Siouxsie** : hasn't it always been though

 **Chris** : pretty much

 **Chris** : and ouch Debbie

 **Chris** : i'm hurt

 **Christine** : Andy and Mike are in this chat??

 **Morrissey** : only 25% of the time

 **Morrissey** : i think they just lurk on us

 **Andy** : you're a prick

 **Morrissey** : see

 **Mike** : what andy said

 **Johnny** : i put y'all in this chat and i can just as easily take you out

 **Lita** : shit

 **Cherie** : sometimes, joan and i cuddle on the couch together and watch you guys roast each other

 **Joan** : that happens a lot actually

 **Siouxsie** : cUTE

 **Siouxsie** : debbie i think they've outdone us

 **Debbie** : dammit

 **Stevie** : there's so many cute couples in here and i can't deal

 **Morrissey** : :)

 **Siouxsie** : just wanna take a second to say that i love debbie with all my heart

 **Siouxsie** : she is the light of my life

 **Joan** : what the hell i'm deAD

 **Lita** : WHERE IS MY FEMALE

 **Lita** : OR MALE I'M NOT PICKY

 **Debbie** : aWWWW SIOUXSIE

 **Debbie** : i can't stop smiling

 **Debbie** : come over now

 **Cherie** : guys we gotta have a party sometime

 **Lita** : agreed

 **Morrissey** : everything's gotta be vegan though or i'm not coming

 **Cherie** : yes father

 **Johnny** : watch it Cherie

 **Cherie** : i feel attacked

 **Joan** : don't attack my girl johnny

 **Lita** : y'all need to calm down

 **Stevie** : i will be there for the vegan snacks

 **Christine** : you'll drag me along right Stevie

 **Stevie** : like always

 **Cherie** : shit i gotta plan this

 **Cherie** : i didn't think this through

 **Cherie** : @ better half of the smiths: could you guys help

 **Johnny** : i feel special

 **Johnny** : yes we will

_Andy has left gayin' it up!_

_Mike has left gayin' it up!_


	6. the succ

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i got a job and i've been super tired all the time, that's why i suck at updating this
> 
> i love writing this though, it makes me v happy

**Johnny** : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BacOW42b7WM

 **Johnny** : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UjA7rcznPf8

 **Johnny** : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4u51oTz9PWM

 **Morrissey** : why are you spamming us with links to bootleg smiths songs

 **Johnny** : no reason

 **Cherie** : okay but why does every conversation here start with somebody jacking off the smiths

 **Lita** : good question

 **Lita** : idk they're just really great

 **Lita** : and they know it

 **Morrissey** : we are great

 **Morrissey** : i am great

 **Joan** : two (2) seconds into morrissey and ego and he gives you this look

 **Joan** : https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/01/64/a5/0164a584e5b6b7534b340834a8c3ee61.jpg

 **Morrissey** : joan you are the WORST

 **Morrissey** : but so am i

 **Robert** : lmao

 **Robert** : ego gone

 **Christine** : this chat is truly a rollercoaster

 **Christine** : it's wonderful

 **Debbie** : hey guys

 **Siouxsie** : hey debs

 **Siouxsie** : you're beautiful

 **Chris** : get married

 **Robert** : Debbie Sioux

 **Siouxsie** : robert

 **Siouxsie** : you know that's not actually my last name

 **Robert** : wait really

 **Siouxsie** : oh my god

 **Siouxsie** : how long have i known you

 **Debbie** : i'M CRYING

 **Chris** : the fuck

 **Robert** : i am triggered

 **Morrissey** : are you gonna leave the chat like Triggered 1 and Triggered 2 did??

 **Robert** : absolutely not

 **Debbie** : i love you Siouxsie

 **Debbie** : lol they were salty that they weren't invited to the party

 **Siouxsie** : <3 <3 <3

 **Johnny** : hell yeah they were

 **Johnny** : i saw andy's car drive by

 **Johnny** : and i heard generic rock hits playing from the speakers

 **Chris** : i'm laughing

 **Stevie** : was he playing pink floyd

 **Johnny** : i think so

 **Joan** : shit johnny

 **Joan** : throwing shade

 **Morrissey** : that's the only thing he's better at than one other thing

 **Johnny** : don't you dARE

 **Morrissey** : the other thing being

 **Morrissey** : the succ

 **Johnny** : whAT THE FUCK MORRISSEY

 **Joan** : OH

 **Siouxsie** : IM CRYING

 **Cherie** : woah what

 **Cherie** : oH

 **Cherie** : HAHAHAHA

 **Johnny** : IM GONNA KICK YOUR ASS MOZ

 **Morrissey** : love you baby

 **Stevie** : y'all are really cute

 **Joan** : oh they're adorable alright

 **Joan** : i've /seen/ things

 **Robert** : we've all seen things

 **Morrissey** : i have no shame

 **Morrissey** : i love me some johnny marr

 **Debbie** : this chat is just annoying couples

 **Siouxsie** : we are one of those annoying couples

 **Debbie** : i know

 **Lita** : i left to tune my guitar and i missed so much

 **Lita** : you guys make me laugh

 **Lita** : i love this chat a lot

 **Johnny** : morrissey is lucky that i love him

 **Johnny** : or else i'd probably have killed him by now

 **Debbie** : ironic since all your songs are about murder

 **Lita** : and gay

 **Debbie** : gay murder

 **Robert** : exposed

 **Cherie** : smiths conspiracy theory

 **Lita** : i am here for that

 **Johnny** : so when's that next party

 **Johnny** : i'm ready to get hammered

 **Chris** : in what way exactly

 **Debbie** : chRIS

 **Johnny** : wow

 **Johnny** : i thought cherie said that at first

 **Morrissey** : to answer your question chris

 **Morrissey** : both ways

 **Johnny** : i'm so done


	7. hummus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had some crackers and hummus and i got an inspiration

**Morrissey** : do y'all like hummus

**Lita** : what the fuck is hummus

**Morrissey** : ground chickpeas with other vegan fuckery added

**Johnny** : fuckery

**Lita** : never had it

**Joan** : it's good shit

**Joan** : can we please have a hummus gathering

**Lita** : lmao okay sure??

**Morrissey** : a fan got me what appears to be a lifetime supply of hummus

**Morrissey** : so i thought i'd share

**Johnny** : how kind of you Moz

**Debbie** : hell yeah

**Debbie** : i'm not a vegan but i am here for hummus

**Robert** : you guys are something special

**Robert** : am i invited tho

**Morrissey** : why not

**Robert** : noice

**Joan** : where is cherie

**Joan** : cheeeeeeeeeerie

**Debbie** : call her

**Robert** : Call Me.mp3

**Debbie** : don't

**Johnny** : cALL ME CALL ME EVERY DAY AND NIGHT CALL ME

**Morrissey** : no

**Joan** : http://68.media.tumblr.com/d7768db2154096c1a223a8cc6d467007/tumblr_mng7jhTrtO1qbvmhgo1_500.jpg

**Morrissey** : hey

**Morrissey** : i am not a twat

**Joan** : ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**Johnny** : i'm cRYING OH MY GOD JOAN

**Joan** : how do you put up with him

**Johnny** : ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**Debbie** : did you get a hold of cherie yet joan

**Joan** : nope

**Joan** : she's probably asleep

**Debbie** : or dead

**Joan** : dammit debbie

**Cherie** : i'm alive

**Joan** : we need to move in together like right now

**Cherie** : i agree

**Cherie** : i pass out on the couch a lot with my phone in another room and then joan gets shook

**Debbie** : siouxsie is on tour now

**Debbie** : i miss her :/

**Morrissey** : you guys should tour together sometime

**Johnny** : yES

**Lita** : we should all tour together

**Cherie** : that would be... a mess

**Debbie** : a fun mess

**Robert** : alright moz

**Robert** : where's that hummus

**Morrissey** : come to johnny and i's

**Robert** : okay

**Robert** : as long as there's no sex dungeon

**Johnny** : i promise you there is not

**Johnny** : and never will be

**Morrissey** : dammit

**Johnny** : AHHHH

**Morrissey** : i'm joking

**Debbie** : vegan boy is secretly kinky as hell

**Lita** : i don't wanna know what he does with that hummus

**Johnny** : I'M OUT

_Johnny has left gayin' it up!_

**Morrissey** : you are all awful

**Morrissey** : nasties

_Morrissey has added Johnny to gayin' it up!_

**Debbie** : love you johnny

**Johnny** : love you too debbie

**Debbie** : so that hummus

**Morrissey** : hummus and chill

**Joan** : why are you like this

**Lita** : we've corrupted him

**Johnny** : ain't that the truth

_Morrissey renamed the chat hummus and chill!_

**Johnny** : MOZ NO

**Morrissey** : moz yes

**Morrissey** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


	8. embarrassing food moments

**Lita** : hey y’all

 **Lita** : i've got some Leftover Spoop

 **Morrissey** : what the actual fuck are you on about

 **Johnny** : halloween bby

 **Johnny** : spoop = spook

 **Morrissey** : oh

 **Lita** : there's lots of candy

 **Lita** : vegan chocolate too

 **Lita** : ;)

 **Morrissey** : hEXK YEAJ

 **Morrissey** : *heck yeah

 **Joan** : our halloween party was lit

 **Joan** : and by our's i mean me and cherie

 **Cherie** : tru

 **Cherie** : we watched horror movies and i got so scared that i cried actual tears

 **Cherie** : Joan had to hold me

 **Siouxsie** : aww cute

 **Cherie** : i almost diED

 **Siouxsie** : still cute

 **Debbie** : siouxsie

 **Debbie** : tell them what we were for halloween

 **Siouxsie** : oh yeah

 **Siouxsie** : i was an apple and Deb was a banana

 **Joan** : hahAHHA

 **Lita** : but why

 **Siouxsie** : idk??? last minute idea i guess

 **Siouxsie** : also, Debbie looked so adorable aHHHHHHH

 **Debbie** : love you

 **Johnny** : this chat is just coupley garbage honestly

 **Chris** : and me

 **Robert** : also me

 **Johnny** : yeah

 **Johnny** : thanks for sticking around even though we are fucking gross

 **Morrissey** : johnny and i are the grossest

 **Debbie** : are you sure about that

 **Siouxsie** : she once ate a strawberry that fell out of my mouth while i was laughing

 **Johnny** : the fuck????

 **Lita** : i'M CRYING

 **Joan** : OH MY LORD

 **Debbie** : keep in mind, i was very tipsy

 **Morrissey** : debbie omfg

 **Chris** : Debbie is a slut for strawberries

 **Debbie** : cHRIS WHY

 **Johnny** : I CAN'T BREATHE

 **Robert** : i want that on a shirt

 **Robert** : next blondie merch line??

 **Debbie** : nO

 **Siouxsie** : i can't believe i never told you guys that omg

 **Joan** : i'm sure moz and johnny have some content they're keeping from us

 **Lita** : spill it johnny

 **Lita** : pls

 **Johnny** : one time i ate a hamburger in front of him and he refused to talk to me for 3 days

 **Johnny** : i'm a vegetarian now

 **Chris** : wow

 **Debbie** : are we just telling embarrassing food related stories now or

 **Morrissey** : sure why not

 **Morrissey** : and lies johnny

 **Morrissey** : you went vegetarian for the animals too

 **Johnny** : yeah yeah

 **Lita** : idk guys

 **Lita** : i think it's time for joan and cherie's Embarrassing Food Moment

 **Cherie** : Joan once put almond butter on my thighs and licked it off sensually

 **Joan** : wHY DID YOU

 **Joan** : AHHHHHHHH

 **Joan** : I WANT TO DIE

 **Cherie** : ;) ily

 **Debbie** : AHHAHAAHA

 **Robert** : i am endlessly entertained by this group chat

 **Lita** : i already knew that buT HAHA

 **Lita** : so is anybody actually gonna come to my place for candy or

 **Morrissey** : yes

 **Morrissey** : for that vegan chocolate because yES

 **Johnny** : he has no self control when it comes to vegan chocolate

 **Morrissey** : don't throw shade johnny

 **Johnny** : shut up

 **Johnny** : you know i love you

 **Lita** : @ everyone in the chat: please come over so i can give you candy and hugs

 **Joan** : you kind soul

 **Lita** : just doing god's work sweaty :) <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello yes, i wanted to update on halloween but time got away from me. this is me making up for it lmao


	9. everyone gets married

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> better late than never i guess?? i'm done making excuses lmao but i hope you enjoy my friends

**Debbie** : hey pals, who wants to help me and siouxsie take down all our christmas decor

 **Siouxsie** : help us we're very lazy

 **Johnny** : no

 **Debbie** : johnny pls

 **Johnny** : no thanks i've seen enough christmas

 **Johnny** : morrissey's got a thing for walking around and looking at lights

 **Johnny** : at 2am mind you

 **Lita** : aww

 **Lita** : that's the ultimate relationship goal right there

 **Morrissey** : christmas lights are romantic as heck

 **Debbie** : tru

 **Johnny** : i'm personally more of a stay in, drink tea, and watch a film kinda guy

 **Morrissey** : we should do more of that bby

 **Johnny** : bby

 **Johnny** : where did you learn this teenage text lingo

 **Joan** : we've been rubbing off on him lmao

 **Stevie** : Morrissey is a changed man after this chat

 **Johnny** : you're telling me

 **Morrissey** : i'm more fun now though

 **Morrissey** : right

 **Lita** : yes

 **Siouxsie** : without him this chat would be nothing

 **Morrissey** : wow thanks

 **Johnny** : siouXSIE DON'T INFLATE HIS ALREADY GIGANTIC EGO

 **Siouxsie** : oops sorry

 **Morrissey** : johnny is the worst

 **Johnny** : fuck off mate

 **Chris** : m8

 **Debbie** : should i be laughing

 **Lita** : marrissey is so real

 **Lita** : get married now please

 **Stevie** : who's invited to the wedding tho??

 **Johnny** : not y'all

 **Stevie** : ouch

 **Johnny** : jk you're all invited

 **Morrissey** : so is that a proposal

 **Johnny** : probably

 **Debbie** : i am dEAD

 **Debbie** : catch me bawling my eyes out while eating all your wedding cake

 **Siouxsie** : can we be next Debs

 **Lita** : this shit is too cute

 **Joan** : aHHH

 **Debbie** : heKC YES

 **Morrissey** : my heart is warm

 **Christine** : Fleetwood Mac - Warm Ways.mp3

 **Stevie** : you're ruining the moment

 **Johnny** : for real though

 **Johnny** : i would marry you morrissey

 **Morrissey** : i know

 **Cherie** : oh shit

 **Cherie** : what did i miss

 **Cherie** : OH

 **Morrissey** : brb planning the marrissey wedding

 **Johnny** : i cnnaot bretath

 **Debbie** : i'm actualy cryinf

 **Robert** : hey guys, how's it going

 **Joan** : not now robert

 **Siouxsie** : we're all very emotional

 **Robert** : you don't say

 **Cherie** : joan

 **Cherie** : marry me

 **Joan** : i saw that coming cherie

 **Joan** : :)

 **Johnny** : let's just have one big wedding

 **Debbie** : so i can cry three times as much in one day

 **Debbie** : can't wait to be soaked in my own tears

 **Chris** : i don't know shit about planning weddings but i'm willing to help

 **Debbie** : chris is so pure

 **Cherie** : this is a beautiful moment

 **Stevie** : omg i can't wait

 **Stevie** : if you guys are serious

 **Johnny** : fuck yeah i'm serious

 **Joan** : can we have a joint honeymoon too

 **Joan** : just a bunch of Pals chilling together

 **Cherie** : and being gay as hell

 **Morrissey** : that can be arranged

 **Siouxsie** : i love you guys

 **Johnny** : <3

 **Morrissey** : this is the true definition of gayin' it up

 **Debbie** : tRU

 **Lita** : i'm sTILL ALONE

 **Cherie** : you started this you dork

 **Stevie** : i'd marry you Lita

 **Lita** : wow stevie thanks

 **Lita** : you are a goddess

 **Stevie** : <3


	10. the most informal wedding ever

"Yeah, I think we've got a bit of an issue. Morrissey and Debbie won't stop crying, Siouxsie is still doing her makeup, Joan is missing, and the playlist Johnny made doesn't have _My Baby_ by the Pretenders." Chris was kinda freaking out, even though he knew he wasn't the designated wedding planner. He just wanted the best for all his friends, despite how annoying they could be.

Lita turned to fix her hair in the mirror. "What's the rush? Let everyone be a clusterfuck. Where's that playlist? I'll fix it."

Johnny walked in a moment later, his hands shaking as he messed with his tie. He sat down in front of the mirror next to Lita, then slouched dramatically. "I feel like I'm gonna die."

Chris laughed. "Well, Moz isn't doing much better, so you're in the same boat."

"My entire family is out there, oh my god." Johnny put his head in his hands, feeling the heat radiating off his beat red face.

"And they love you, they're here to see you because they care about you," Lita explained, keeping her voice soft in an attempt to calm Johnny. She had never seen him like that before - he was always the confident one.

Johnny smiled at her words, but his heart continued to beat out of his chest. He remembered the playlist he made, full of everyone's favorite songs. "Hey, did you guys see the playlist yet?"

"Yeah, it's great, but you forgot a song." Chris found the paper, covered with songs for the DJ to play. He pulled a pen out of the pocket of his dress pants, and scrawled an extra song. He held the paper out for Johnny to take. "There, now it's done."

His eyes drifted down to the bottom of the page. " _My Baby_ by the Pretenders? Chrissie is gonna love that. Wonder if she's here yet."

Siouxsie opened the door and peaked in. "I'm done, only took like six hours. I think that's my new record," she exclaimed as she walked in the room.

"You didn't tell me your dress was black," Lita said. "But I really should have known."

She giggled, her lips painted with her favorite burgundy lip stain. "I gotta keep my brand strong."

"Does anybody here know where Joan is? I haven't seen her in hours," Lita asked, peering at her watch. "It's soon time to get this shit started."

Morrissey walked in, with Debbie in tow. They both had tear tracks all the way down their faces, and it was safe to consider Debbie's mascara ruined.

"No, haven't seen her," Johnny replied quickly. "Moz, what the fuck."

"S-Sorry, I'm an actual mess... can't pull myself together." Morrissey then proceeded to sob more, walking up to Johnny and embracing him.

Johnny hugged back, rubbing his back. "You're gonna be fine. C'mon, let's go make it look like you weren't just crying on your soon-to-be husband." With that, Morrissey cried even more.

Debbie was still stood in the doorway of the room. She couldn't help but stare at Siouxsie, in her beautiful gown. It reached the ground, and glittered when it caught the light. She had already seen it before, since they all decided they weren't following any of those traditional wedding rules, but that did nothing to dampen the shock she felt in that moment. This was it.

"You in there, Debs?" Siouxsie was suddenly in front of her, grinning so much that it reached her eyes.

Debbie looked up at her. "Yeah, I'm here."

Siouxsie took a moment to step back and look at the woman in front of her. She wore a simple white dress with spaghetti straps, and her hair was wavy. As for her makeup, well, it needed to be fixed.

"Want me to help you fix your makeup?" Siouxsie asked.

"Please."

Chris sighed as they walked out the door. "I guess I'm gonna go find Joan."

"I'm sure she's with Cherie somewhere!" Lita called out after him, putting the final touches on her makeup.

Chris looked into all the dressing rooms in the venue, and still couldn't find either of them. He even knocked on every closed bathroom door, but to no avail. He did find Robert though, who decided to tag along and try to help.

"They could be outside," Robert suggested.

"Maybe, let's go check."

And there they were, standing outside having a smoke before their own wedding. Joan was wearing her homemade Sex Pistols shirt, and leather jacket with black jeans ripped at the knee. Cherie was dressed as... David Bowie?

"We've been looking everywhere for you two," Chris told them. He looked at them and raised his eyebrows. "Are you guys even ready yet?"

Cherie threw her cigarette on the ground and put it out with the heal of her sparkly boot. "Yep. Like the makeup? Joan helped me."

"Why exactly are you dressed as David Bowie?" Robert asked, genuinely curious.

"I don't know, just felt like it," she replied, putting an arm around Joan.

Chris laughed; his friends were really something. "Wow. Okay, whatever makes you happy I guess. It's not like this whole thing is formal anyway. Let's go in, I'm starting the reception in a few minutes."

-

With six nervous people standing behind him, all holding their partner's hands, Chris stood in front of everyone's friends and family. He was ready to make it official, or something like that. He didn't have the slightest idea what he was doing. None of them wrote vows, or gave him anything to say, so he figured he'd just wing it. Hell, they didn't even have rings.

"Hi everyone. You can stop crying, at least for right now. I'm gonna get started."

He proceeded to walk behind Johnny and Morrissey, watching their glassy eyes follow him. "Um, do you promise to love each other for as long as you both shall live?"

"Yes," Johnny and Morrissey replied in unison.

"You may kiss," Chris said, as he watched the crowd of people before him. They seemed pleased that they wouldn't have to sit through much filler nonsense.

They leaned in, but stopped in their tracks when a loud crash was heard. Everyone in the room turned their heads to find Mike Joyce and Andy Rourke, with crowbars in hand. They all gasped and started to scatter, until Stevie ran up on the little stage. Christine followed close behind.

"It's alright everyone, nothing to be afraid of. We know them," she assured the crowd.

Christine turned to all her friends, noticing the shocked look on their faces. "I... may have let it slip to them that this was happening. We told them not to do this, I'm so sorry guys."

Andy and Mike made their way up to the stage - it seemed they dropped the crowbar at the door they broke down. They didn't look angry, which confused them all.

"Johnny, Morrissey... oh my god. We were such dicks in that group chat. We're really sorry, for everything," Andy apologized.

"Sorry to all you guys too," Mike chimed in. He could feel them all staring him down. "We didn't wanna miss this. I'm glad Christine here spilled the beans."

Andy started to pull a bunch of little velvet boxes out of his pocket, one by one. "Mike and I... we wanted to make it up to you guys, so we bought everyone rings. He helped me pick them out."

Johnny's jaw dropped. "Wow... you guys didn't have to do this." As he took two boxes from Andy's hands, he noticed there were eight, instead of six. "Hey, why do you have eight, when there's only six of us?"

He started to laugh uncomfortably. "Uh, you'll see in just a moment." Andy then walked over to Siouxsie and Debbie, handing them each a box. He did the same for Joan and Cherie, and made his way back over to Mike.

Mike had no idea what was going on, so when Andy got down on one knee and opened the second to last box, he nearly fell over.

"Mike, this is really stupid, but seeing everyone else get married made me kinda jealous... so will you marry me? Please? I'm so lonely."

"Um... okay. Yeah, I will," Mike smiled at him, finding the action quite sweet.

Andy got up off the ground, and the crowd starting to chant: " _Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!_ "

They were both blushing beyond comparison, but soon enough, they leaned in and pressed their lips together. Everyone clapped and cheered, forgetting the reason why they were there.

"What the _fuck_ ," Chris mumbled under his breath.

What the fuck, indeed.

-

The rest of the night was spent eating all the snacks and desserts they could possibly stomach, which Morrissey insisted had to be vegan, of course. They danced (and cried) to Johnny's wonderful playlist. He just _had_ to add _The Last Beat Of My Heart_ by Siouxsie and the Banshees. Even Siouxsie herself cried to that one, and Debbie just kissed her until she stopped.

All four couples were gayin' it up, just as the group chat title suggested.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the end!! i hope y'all enjoyed, i loved writing this, it always made me laugh.


End file.
